


Sentiment

by TheOriginalSilvertongue



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Headcanon, Implied/Referenced Torture, Loki's POV, Mind Control, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 09:36:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16553330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOriginalSilvertongue/pseuds/TheOriginalSilvertongue
Summary: A few quick snapshots of Loki headcanons from the first Thor film through the end of The Avengers.





	Sentiment

“No, Loki.” Over the edge of the broken Bifrost bridge, Odin’s face held such disappointment. If Loki’s hope was a fire, then that face extinguished it more thoroughly than water ever could. That face stole every molecule of oxygen from the universe so that nothing would ever burn again. 

That face would never see him as worthy, would never understand. Both Odin and Thor had turned on him, defending the frost giants, Asgard’s enemy, when Loki could have wiped them from existence. He’d been trying to protect Asgard but even that wasn’t good enough. Dangling above the swirling wormhole created by the destruction of the Bifrost, Loki realized nothing ever would be good enough.

Staring calmly up at his brother and father, Loki let go and let the wreckage of his failure swallow him whole.

__________________

They might have broken him, but they never _broke_ him. Loki was stronger than he looked. Haggard, twisted, delirious, it was something much simpler that finally managed to cause the fissure into which the corruption leaked: it was Loki’s own protests.

“You are nothing,” they told him when he insisted he was a god.

“You were cast out,” they told him when he claimed to be a king.

“Sentiment,” they told him when he screamed out his own name to remind himself of who he used to be.

That became the keyword, the word that made him cringe because it was always followed by punishment. And punishment was harsh. Everything Loki thought he knew, everything he thought he was, everything he ever wanted for himself – that was all sentiment.

And sentiment was nothing but pain.

__________________

“You will serve us. You will serve Him.” The disembodied voice came again, insistent.

“I am Loki of Asgard! I am a king, not a servant!” Loki coughed and blood came up with it, painting his lips with crimson spatter. “I am a god,” he croaked before the snapping of his own ribs took his breath away. That would take days to heal. Or at least he thought it was days. It was hard to tell here in Sanctuary, where everything was so dim all the time. Days until they would start with it again. Days until the crushing pain and denial started over. In the meantime, Loki had other parts of his body as yet unbroken. That wouldn’t last long.

‘Sanctuary’ was a lie.

__________________

“Look at this!” Thor shook his brother, their faces only inches apart. “Look around you!”

Loki did, his gaze confused, as if seeing the events fully for the first time. There were stutters in his memory, hazy parts, blanks. The Chitauri had arrived through the portal made using the Tesseract, but only some of them. Loki needed all of them. It had to be all of them.

“Do you think this madness will end with your rule?” Thor demanded of his brother.

Thor was right. It was madness. “It’s too late,” Loki moaned, still watching the mayhem below in the streets of New York City. “It’s too late to stop it.”

“No,” Thor insisted. “We can. Together.”

Oh, Thor. Always so hopeful. Loki’s brother had never truly failed at anything in his life. Of course he was hopeful. Even when Odin had banished him to Earth to teach him humility after disobeying him, Thor had only been gone mere days. How much heartbreak could a few days without his beloved hammer really entail? How much pain? Loki didn’t think it was enough to understand. Thor, the hopeful oaf, beautiful and beloved. 

_Not like you._ the voices hissed. _You’re a monster. Thor doesn’t love you. How could he love you? Believing otherwise is weakness. It’s foolish sentiment. And you know what sentiment gets you._

Loki shivered, slipping a dagger into his hand. “Sentiment,” he echoed and jammed the blade into his brother’s ribs.

__________________

“Enough!” Loki yelled. “I am a god, you dull creature, and I will not be bullied by-” The rest of his rant was silenced by the Hulk slamming him into Stark’s floor repeatedly. Unpleasant, but it was just what Loki needed to break the mind link between him and Thanos’ other servants: The Other and the Chitauri. Stark himself lacked the firepower to do it, so this was Loki’s next fallback plan. It would hopefully stun him thoroughly enough that he’d have an opportunity to do a sort of reboot, ridding himself of the mad Titan’s control. Or he’d get his brains dashed out. 

Either way, he’d be free.


End file.
